Many of us are familar with that old song by “JT”–James Taylor to you young’uns.  I used to love the song because for years, I always felt supported and never had to look far for a shoulder to lean on.

My perception of that support has changed in recent years.  My husband and I made decisions that took us to NYC after 9/11, leaving many of our small town friends wondering if we’d lost our minds.  I couldn’t understand why ”they” couldn’t get or why they were so hesitant to take risks.

When we returned, naturally, our view of the world had changed.  So did our social circle.  We didn’t understand “them” any more than they understood us and over the past few years, we have found ourselves more and more isolated.  To be honest, I don’t believe I even have 5 people I could call upon in crisis.  We’ve gone without food, phones, even power and have endured almost every crisis alone.

That’s one of the curses of the mask–pride.  Most of us are so concerned with what other people think, that we’ll do anything to keep up appearances.  We suffer in silence or struggle unnecessarily instead of taking off the mask and letting people see us in pain.

As I said good-bye to my husband for yet another 2 week stretch, I cried and cried wondering if our lives would ever be “normal” again.  Would we ever again have friends we could count on?  Would we ever again be able to do the things we love to do instead of working ’round the clock to keep from slipping back into the darkness?

Then I came home to my email.  My friend and colleague had redesigned my blog as a gift.  Even though I begged her not to spend a lot of time on it, she gave of her time and talent freely, so that she could give me a design that met my needs.  She refused to let me “just get by” and suffer in silence.   She saw to it that my blog would be more than enough.

What if in wearing our mask we block the very blessings we so desire from getting through?  What if we could make our needs known, openly?  What if we would ask for help when we need it?  What if our mask keeps us from having ALL our needs, no matter what they are, met abundantly?  What if in taking the mask off we discover that suffering is indeed OPTIONAL??? 

“You just call out my name and you know wherever I am, I’ll come running…”

Indeed, you’ve got a friend.  Remove the mask and make the call.

WE WEAR THE MASK

by: Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes–
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but oh great Christ, our cries
To Thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

“We Wear the Mask” is reprinted from The Complete Poems of Paul Laurence Dunbar. Paul Laurence Dunbar. New York: Dodd, Mead, and Co., 1913.

I read this poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar,  when I was no more than 7 or 8 years old.  Even at that age, it had a significant impact on my psyche.  I grasped the meaning and knew that even then, I was hiding myself from the world.

Some 30+ years later, the poem’s words continue to haunt me.  I see the mask of my clients, my neighbors, our politicians..and of course, my own. 

I, for one, have grown tired of hiding.  I’m tired of pretending that everything is alright when it doesn’t feel that way.  I’m tired of not speaking my truth-mostly to myself-about what works and doesn’t work for me.  The mask is heavy and today, it no longer fits.

I am ready for the world to see me…as I am.  And to discover, what life would be like if we all began to show up without our masks. 

I look forward to seeing my beauty and yours.

Finally free,

Lisa