S.O.S.
“Anything that’s worth having is worth asking for. Some say yes and some say no.” – Melba Colgrove
I was feeling pretty raw after writing Monday’s post.
I realize that I had finally moved into the acceptance phase of the grief cycle with this particular relationship.
And I needed help.
Support.
That’s why I ended the post asking for you to share how you cope when you are triggered.
I was so aware that I needed support, I even asked the Twitterverse for help. I really wanted to hear from other people how they dealt with this.
Crickets.
Nobody commented.
Nobody retweeted.
Not even my usual supporters.
I was devastated.
Spiraling, I did what I usually do.
Write.
On other people’s blogs.
In my morning pages journal.
On scraps of paper.
And after a couple of days, I began to feel better.
So, I “celebrated” on Facebook with this update:
After a couple of bad days of feeling unloved, I have re-emerged with new perspective. Giving thanks for the people that “get” me and saying “adios” to those that don’t. It’s all good.
I wasn’t looking for any comments. It was just me sharing my truth and where I was.
But I did get comments.
From old and new friends alike.
Message after message reminding me that I was indeed loved.
I was floored.
Humbled.
And grateful…beyond words.
So what’s the lesson, unmaskers?
Do NOT hesitate to ask for help when you need it.
It may not show up in the form you expected, but it will come. (as did the eventual comments on the blog, thank you!)
You are ALWAYS loved.
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How can I support you today on your unmasking journey?
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Let’s Connect!
You know, I get that way a lot…because I have made only one friend here in almost 3 years. And when I can't in touch with one of my close friends I freak out a little bit. But you're right, it does eventually come.
My recent post When I feel ALIVE it feels like
Well, well, well. Miss Alisha comes out of hiding.
Welcome, my dear! So thrilled you stopped by and shared. An honor to "officially" welcome you to the Lisa-Unmasked family.
We've moved 3 times in the last 2 1/2 years and the only friend I made locally was the lady at the rental car counter — because I saw her almost every week!
But one day I realized that I didn't understand loneliness. Even without a single friend to hang out with, my virtual friends were always there in one way, shape or form to help me. I feel so blessed.
Sending you a big virtual hug!
Hehe. Thanks
You are right about virtual friends…if not for my blog and Twitter, I’d be even more lost. They have been my saving grace through some tough times.
Because of the gift of my virtual friends, I believe that when I finally get settled and start making friends IRL, I'll be an even better friend.
Thank you, Alisha, for being a teacher. And a friend.
Asking for help leaves you vulnerable – open – susceptible to rejection.
Asking for help also empowers you because you have moved outside of yourself and laid yourself bare before the world. That bareness points towards a freedom. That freedom empowers you.
I'm learning a new definition of power from you Lisa – and I'm liking every second of it!
Lordy, lordy, I'm gettin' the vapors. Frankie's here.
Welcome, my friend.
Wow–your comment really hit me.
Open…outside of yourself…bare before the world.
No wonder people are so afraid of unmasking!
But what I love about you is how you bring it all home: "That freedom empowers you."
Without question.
Every time I write, every time I make a new friend on Twitter, every time I ask for help, I feel more empowered to keep showing up. To keep looking to see what else I am hiding, where else in my life I am still wearing the mask. And that is FREEING.
I am so glad you are here, Frank. So humbled and honored by your support and friendship.
And now… officially… I am your pathetic fan girl.
Mwah!
Keep writing – keep making friends – keep moving outside of "safe>"
We are all the better for it.
ECF
Hi Lisa, I've discovered your blog through your comments to LaVonne, and so glad I did!
One of the things I've found over time is that when we're in the wound or the hurt or the issue it has a reality of it's own and our experience will always match it's reality – like no one tweets back or comments…at ALL!
Then, we work through it and come out into a new and better reality and lo and behold the world is responding completely differently. Our world will always match the story we're standing inside of.
Once we figure that out, we can actually look around at how our world currently is and figure out the story that must be running in the background and then work with that to transform it. It gets really fun with a little practice!
Love your post (and also the last one, too!)
Welcome, Susan. So delighted you took the time to stop by. I'm so honored.
It's funny, I "understand" what you're saying but think I really just "got" it.. The "reality" of my pain with that person was the feeling of overwhelming rejection. And of course, not getting any comment or Twitter-luv lined right up with that feeling – REJECTION. Hmmmm…
When I get really honest about how I feeling, no matter how "ugly" and voice it, that is a form of self-love. And when I love myself enough to be emotionally authentic…guess what? Suddenly I become aware of MORE love in my outer world. What happened on FB is still happening and look at what else? I've made a new friend.
Amazing that in one brief comment you shifted my thinking. I really *can* transform my outer world, can't I?
Thank YOU, Susan. I hope you'll come back often.
A friend of mine once told me, "When you ask for help you honor the person you are asking because you are trusting them with your vulnerability and that is the highest of hours."
I don't know why I just told you that but I hope it helps.
My girl, Tex. I have missed ya'.
That is so profound. I have never heard that before.
And you told me because I needed to hear it. And yes, my dear, it helps. A lot.
Thank you, luv!
Lisa — thanks for writing this. This happens to us all who blog – right? We put our hearts out there and write our asses off and
alright — I just wrote a nice, long, well-thought out comment and commentluv or whatever ate it…..sigh…
I am sorry commentluv ate your post.
Apparently what you wrote (and the fact that you stopped by on a Saturday) is all I needed to receive.
Someday, I'll be like Danielle LaPorte and close down comments from my blog. But for now, I'll enjoy every single comment and give thanks for my readers, commenters and lurkers alike!
#loveyou