**This post is dedicated to CJ, whose writing and friendship are beautiful reminders that hiding is no longer an option.**

During my first class in coaching school, we were taken through a visualization exercise where we were supposed to meet up with our future self.    The point of the exercise was that my future self had something to share that would support me in my journey.

I won’t go into all the details of my visualization but two things have always stood out.  When I arrived at this future place in time, there were beings waiting for me in a circle.  I remember feeling overwhelmed with emotion at the sight of these beings–I could feel so much love and appreciation.  As I approached the circle, I began to make out faces.  These were people who were my champions or cheerleaders, if you will.  I could see my husband, daughter, my mother and father, and a few close friends.  I also saw people I didn’t expect to see, like a former boss and a relatively “new” friend.  I’ll never forget the look of love and appreciation in their eyes and the unconditional acceptance I felt in that circle.

I have since learned that there are more people cheering me on, loving and supporting me unconditionally than I had ever imagined.

The same goes for you.  You just have to be open to seeing it and letting go of the ways you believe their support should look like. 

The second thing I remember about the visualization is the gift my future self gave me. 

A key.

A very large key.   So large, it required two hands to hold it. 

When I asked what it meant, ‘I’ replied, “You know.”

And now, I do.

All along, I have held the key to freedom.  I have held the key to peace.   I have the key to ending all the suffering in my life.  Now.

The key?  Acceptance.

I can continue to wish that my financial situation were different.  I can continue to be angry at Paul for not loving me back.  I can continue to be outraged by the genocide in Darfur, the global food crisis or the price of gas.  I continue to berate myself for not being smart enough, thin enough, pretty enough, good enough in any number of situations in my past.

And the suffering continues.

The key is to accept what is.  Right now. 

The truth is, I could not have made a different decision than wallowing in the shit Paul and I created.  I could not have made a different decision about my career, my finances, my business, than the ones I made at the time.  I couldn’t have chosen to not hurt someone feelings or not to have the all-too-frequent temper tantrums of my past. 

You see, the person I was at those moments was only capable of making the decision that was made.  Everything I had learned and believed at that time translated into my behaviors and actions.  (The same goes for those around you.  They, too, are only making the decisions they are capable of at that moment.)

Change the input-thoughts and beliefs-you change the action.  This my friend, is how we grow. 

Moment-to-moment.  Choice-by-choice.

Where ever you are today, is EXACTLY where you should be.  Accept it.  Whatever has happened in your past, accept it.  Whatever “they’ve” done to you, accept it.   You can’t have peace until you do.

I invite you to make a decision with me, right now, to end your suffering. 

• stop comparing yourself to others
• stop regretting your past
• stop wishing people (circumstances, etc.) were different
• stop believing that you are anything but whole and complete NOW.

Only you can stop your suffering.

I’ve offered you the key. 

Will you take it?

A couple of days ago, I was contacted by a potential client who mentioned that she’d looked me up on the web and found my blog.

I was shocked at my reaction.

This blog?  You mean, Lisa-Unmasked?  OMG. 

I was mortified.

And then, I had to laugh at myself.

As you know, I don’t keep this blog for business reasons nor do I expect anyone to actually read it.  I am flattered that people do and I love the feedback.

But I write this blog to honor myself.  For far too long, I have lived in fear of what others thought.  While that didn’t stop me from opening my mouth, the fear made me question my worth and even my right, to speak candidly and express how a situation appeared to me or made me feel.

I write this this blog to honor the part of me that refused to die, even when I and so many others, tried to kill her.

So, my reaction to this woman “finding” me was surprising.  And then, pretty damned funny.

In some way, I am still hiding.  Still afraid of what others will think or how they’ll react by seeing me–raw and naked.  Lisa-Unmasked isn’t meant to be “pretty” or “perfect.”  It’s meant to be ALL me.

And there I was, frightened that someone I didn’t know had found me.   Seen me.

HA!

After I stopped laughing at my reaction, I stopped for a minute and honored that part of me that is still afraid of being out here.  I spoke to her like a little girl who is afraid of the dark or of monsters in her closet.   And together, we turned on the lights and discovered, there is nothing to fear when we are true to ourselves.  When we let the world see us- when we see ourselves - perfect in our imperfections, then we no longer show up “less than” in order to make someone else feel better in our presence.  When we like “us”, it stops mattering if “they” like us.

Loving yourself, anyway, is the greatest gift you can give yourself…and the world.  For when we can love ourselves completely, we can allow others to be who they are and love them..anyway..just as they are.

And do you think that might contribute to peace on earth?? 

Oh, by the way….she hired me.

For years I have debated with myself about whether God actually listens, much less speaks to me.  I know that those doubts stem from the heartache and disappointments I’ve experienced because in the midst of such drama, I feel as if I’m alone.

As my spiritual journey went off the beaten path down a steep, unpaved, narrow mountain “road”, I ve come to see that many of us spend all this time “talking” to God, but few of us take the time to listen.  I wanted God to speak to me in a way that I understood, and when that didn’t happen, I could dismiss prayer and all other forms of communication as bogus.

The truth that I have uncovered for myself–God speaks to us ALL the time.

So the question isn’t whether God is listening to you.  The question is:  Are you listening to God?

A few years ago while in Connecticut, I heard a voice.  Turns out it was a tree.  Yes, a tree.  

 After I realized that I wasn’t crazy, I found that trees and some plants actually “talk” to me.  Some just laugh at the way I’m behaving, others offer comfort and still others, just ask me to stop and take notice.   As I got used to this phenomenon, I decided to ask my one and only houseplant if it talked and whether she had a name. (I have NO idea what this plant is and that I haven’t killed it is PROOF that miracles happen.)   She laughed at me, said her name was Astrid and wondered if I was ever going to get around to listening to her.   See, I talked to “it” all the time.  I just never took the time to hear her.

In the midst of my financial crisis, I’ve taken to writing to ease the pain, but never did I actively seek for signs that God was trying to tell me something.  I was angry and distraught at the loss of my livlihood and all the things I’d worked for.  But there was a deeper message–one I apparently wasn’t ready to hear.

Until I saw the snake.

Now, I have lived 43 years without ever seeing a snake up close.  Yet there it was at my back door.  Over the past few weeks, I’ve seen several.  I just have to look out my window.  Many of you reading this know that I freaked out and have had many a meltdown over them.  Yet you encouraged me to look for the meaning.   And I have.

As I started to embrace the snakes, then spiders began showing up.  Another major yuck for me.   This time, instead of freaking out, I stopped and said, “what are you trying to tell me.  I am listening.”

The answers came quickly.

Swift change is coming into my life.  It is time to let go of the old me and accept and love the new me.   I’ve had to “shed the skin” of all the illusions of my former life because I was not living a life that was created from my soul’s greatest intention.  The spider helped me see that as I bridge my past and future, that the strength that I need to draw upon is at my core-my center.  From that authentic place, the life my soul has intended all along can be created. 

And like the spider who trusts that the web it has created will support it, I too, can trust that living from my center, from my soul, will provide me with all the love,  power, courage, and sustenance I will ever need.

God is speaking to you in so many ways. 

Are you listening?

I’m absolutely scattered this morning.

I woke up tired, intending to go see my sister in the hospital, but realized that I was too tired to drive 5 hours, much less drive back.  I feel like a loser.

I haven’t heard from my husband yet today after he worked 12 hours and then drove to Green Bay, arriving some time after 1am and I’ m worried.

So, I’ve piddled around this morning, watching TV, drinking coffee, trying to write, talking to my daughter in hopes that I’ll somehow “get it together” and be productive today.

Then my reminder message came up, “What do you need?”

I set this reminder message up months ago as a way for me to check in with myself.  Most days, I ignore it.  I’m too busy.

And that would explain the results or lack thereof I am experiencing in my life.

Asking yourself that question and listening allows you to see where your thoughts are.  And where your thoughts go,  your attention and actions follow.  And since most people are often thinking about what’s NOT working in their lives or what they DON’T want, it’s no surprise why many of us are so unhappy.

So, what do you need?

When I paid attention to the message today, I came to the blog to write.  I NEED this blog.  It isn’t for YOU, per se.  I have this blog for ME.  

I have something to say.   It no longer matters if anyone agrees or even cares.  I had to start listening to ME.  And the voice has said to me, over and over and over again to write.  So I am.

What do you need?

I need to sit in silence for a few minutes and honor the moment.  I need to remind myself that I am worthy and lovable.  I need to do something loving for ME. 

What do you need?

What you give yourself is what you give to others.  How you treat yourself shows others how you want to be treated.

Are you getting what you need? 

If not, start NOW by giving it to yourself.

I’m taking a business class for the next several weeks and last night was given this assignment (estimated to take 5-8 HOURS) to really explore what makes me unique.  I’m to discover what my talents are so that I can articulate what sets me apart from every other coach/consultant out there.

I freaked.

I’ve been here before and refused to do the work.  The “lie” I have told myself is that I’m not good at anything.  There is nothing unique, nothing special, nothing extraordinary about me.  If there were, why did I hear almost daily for 15 years in my job all the things that were wrong with me?

I won’t get into all the reasons I attracted those people and why it was necessary for me to have those experiences.  It happened.  I learned.  And have moved on.

But last night brought up all sorts of fears.  So, I stopped the instructor and asked the group for support.  Basically, I told them, that without some encouragement, I will quit and go home and continue to wallow in my “not enoughness.”

The response was overwhelming.

The support that came from those women, even this morning, brings tears to my eyes.  I literally felt like I was being group hugged and that somehow, each would offer support in a way that felt good to them.  But bottom line, they’d be there.  (BTW–this was the 1st class and these women are complete strangers to me.)

But that’s not even the best part.

I cried and got all choked up as I asked for help.  I put my fears and insecurities on the table.  I was raw and vunerable.

And then one person said, how moved she was by my honesty and vulnerability.  That for her, the key to a successful life was being open, honest and allowing oneself to be vunerable.  It was so important to her to be surrounded by people who were willing to do what I’d done.  She was touched to her core.

Now, I’m sure I don’t have to tell a few of you, that on more than one occasion, my honesty and vunerability sent people running in the other direction.  Those that stayed would tell me how brutal I was or that I was simply too sensitive.  Rarely was I ever applauded for “keepin’ it real.”

But last night, a total stranger, changed all that.  5 amazing women that I have not and may never meet face-to-face,  allowed me the space to be who I am.  And then thanked me for it. 

As I write this now, I realize that I am closer to my dreams than I ever imagined.  I am consistently attracting women into my business and into my life who know and appreciate the power of acknowledging someone for who they ARE.

If not for last night, I may have continued down this path not realizing that I was on the right road after all.

Who can you acknowledge today?

And what can you acknowledge about yourself?

I know you rock.  And I LOVE you for it!

Many of us are familar with that old song by “JT”–James Taylor to you young’uns.  I used to love the song because for years, I always felt supported and never had to look far for a shoulder to lean on.

My perception of that support has changed in recent years.  My husband and I made decisions that took us to NYC after 9/11, leaving many of our small town friends wondering if we’d lost our minds.  I couldn’t understand why ”they” couldn’t get or why they were so hesitant to take risks.

When we returned, naturally, our view of the world had changed.  So did our social circle.  We didn’t understand “them” any more than they understood us and over the past few years, we have found ourselves more and more isolated.  To be honest, I don’t believe I even have 5 people I could call upon in crisis.  We’ve gone without food, phones, even power and have endured almost every crisis alone.

That’s one of the curses of the mask–pride.  Most of us are so concerned with what other people think, that we’ll do anything to keep up appearances.  We suffer in silence or struggle unnecessarily instead of taking off the mask and letting people see us in pain.

As I said good-bye to my husband for yet another 2 week stretch, I cried and cried wondering if our lives would ever be “normal” again.  Would we ever again have friends we could count on?  Would we ever again be able to do the things we love to do instead of working ’round the clock to keep from slipping back into the darkness?

Then I came home to my email.  My friend and colleague had redesigned my blog as a gift.  Even though I begged her not to spend a lot of time on it, she gave of her time and talent freely, so that she could give me a design that met my needs.  She refused to let me “just get by” and suffer in silence.   She saw to it that my blog would be more than enough.

What if in wearing our mask we block the very blessings we so desire from getting through?  What if we could make our needs known, openly?  What if we would ask for help when we need it?  What if our mask keeps us from having ALL our needs, no matter what they are, met abundantly?  What if in taking the mask off we discover that suffering is indeed OPTIONAL??? 

“You just call out my name and you know wherever I am, I’ll come running…”

Indeed, you’ve got a friend.  Remove the mask and make the call.