Mar '15

Why I’m Back

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? 🙂

While I have most definitely thought of you during my absence (and missed you terribly), the thought of returning to the blog often seemed pointless. Haven’t I said it all already? And really, what’s the point?

I know I’m not the only who struggles with such thoughts. I know I’m not alone wondering sometimes if my work really matters, given all the pain and suffering in the world.

Yet no matter how loud those voices screamed at me, the desire to be here never went away. The joy I experienced in connecting with you was always in my heart.

This week, I was challenged by my two closest friends and confidantes to stop “talking” about returning and just WRITE. I even had a deadline to finish at least one post.

Yet even with the loving support (and not-so-gentle kicks in the ass), I wasn’t sure I could.

I wasn’t sure I had anything in me.

I was simply too afraid to show up again.
(and yes, that is very hard to admit publicly.)

As I got up this morning, I asked for help in meeting my “deadline.” I was guided to the 21-day Meditation Experience that Oprah and Deepak Chopra are hosting again. As I opened Day 2 of this series, I burst into tears as I read the day’s centering thought:

I am here to bring more love into the world.

Suddenly, there was no pressure. No need to get it “right.” No need to do anything other than remember that “I am here to bring more love into the world.”

(And by the way, so are you! 🙂 )

I do this by writing what’s in my heart. By giving myself permission to be a messy human, doing the best I can, and sharing what I’ve learned (even if I’m still going thru it).

I cried through the entire meditation and as I opened my eyes, I caught sight of this line from a writing manifesto I downloaded earlier in the week, compliments of Cynthia Morris at Original Impulse:

Writing is an act of love.


So, I’m back.

Letting LOVE lead.

In service AND in LOVE,


Jun '11

Balls not required

I still have the final 3 episodes of Oprah on my DVR.

I started to watch the star-studded episode and was so thrilled to see Madonna come out on stage.

Considering all this woman has accomplished in her own right, I found it moving that she admired Oprah. I hung on every word until she said of Oprah, “You’ve got balls.” (more…)

Feb '10

Using the Damn Brain God Gave You

Thanks, Oprah.

While my girl has brought some real value into my life, I really didn’t need her billionaire-ass to tell me that texting and driving was REALLY, REALLY STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C’mon, folks.  When are we going to stop giving someone else our power to think for ourselves?

Ten years ago my mother was lying in hospital room.  She had been sick for over 6 months with an infection that they could not pinpoint.  As a former pre-med major and the only one in the family with the balls to challenge the doctor, it was often up to me to get the real scoop.

I’ll never forget the day that I DEMANDED the ICU nurse to get mom’s doctor to call me ASAP.  I was 6 hours away and was tired of the run around.

Unfortunately for me, I had waited for hours to use the restroom and dashed off, cell phone in hand, to relieve my bladder.


Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?  I am trying to pee!

Of course, it was the doctor.  I had to take it.

He confirmed what I already knew.  Mom was dying.  And there wasn’t anything they could do to stop it.  They had no idea what they were fighting and it was going to win.

I don’t tell you that story to make you sad.   Certainly, there are times when you just have to take a call when you’re in the middle of something else.

My guess is that’s about 1% of the time.  And that’s a stretch.

Why on earth do you have to answer your phone at the table in a restaurant?

If you answer the phone with “Hey gurl.  Nuttin’.  Just standin’ in line at Kroger,” trust me, it’s not a conversation that can’t wait until you get your sorry ass home.

And that text message?  Are you kidding me?  If you ain’t thwarting the next terrorist attack or performing virtual heart surgery, your answer can wait until you have stopped your moving vehicle.

Where the hell were you when your driver’s ed teacher explained to you that you were operating a 2-ton piece of equipment that  COULD KILL?

When did technology become an excuse for not using your own common sense?

I think people crave connection and intimacy so desperately, they are willing to create the illusion of connection.

“Look at me.  I”m so important that someone wants to talk to me..right NOW.”

“And I think so little of you and myself that I’ll pretend that you’re important by having this half-ass conversation and do 1000 other things while I’m talking to you.”

Here’s a news flash:  Real connection comes from being in the MOMENT.

You didn’t need me to tell you that.

And you certainly didn’t need Oprah to go to all that trouble to create a “No texting while driving” pledge.

NOTHING is more important than NOW.  Be in it.  Love it.  Thank God for it.

I promise you that you’ll get more done, be less stressed and your relationships will vastly improve.

The world needs YOUALL of you.

Put the phone down and be here NOW.

And for goodness sake, use the damn brain God gave you.

Lovin’ you,


Jan '10

Drop the Stories

We look outside ourselves for acceptance and approval – “Soar” by Christina Aguilera

I am fascinated by people’s stories.  One of the reasons I believe that I draw people so easily is that I am a great listener and I love to hear about your experiences.  It gives me great insight into a human being because I often am blessed to hear the stories that they have never shared with anyone else.  I feel so honored each and every time someone is that vulnerable with me.

But I also notice how people use stories to justify things, mainly how they feel about something.  I’ve done a lot of training via teleclass and have had the opportunity to interact with people all over the world.  Most of the work I do usually requires some deep emotional upheaval and that makes people uncomfortable.  I have recently come to the realization that people will do anything…anything not to feel “difficult” or  unwanted emotions.

One of those ways around it is to mask our feelings in a story.

I have a real pet peeve when someone arrives to a teleclass late and instead of just saying, “I’m here, sorry I was late” they launch into all the reasons why.  I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.  You were late.  So what.  Move on.  But I can see now that the story makes them feel better because they have also told themselves a story about how awful (irresponsible, stupid, etc.) they are for being late.  Rather than just accept their feelings in the moment, they rationalize in all sorts of ways so that they don’t have to feel whatever it is that came up.

Many of my past spiritual mentors have told me that if you stay present with an emotion it will pass.   I can’t say that I have believed that until now because I have been gifted with an ability to feel at very deep levels.  I have hated someone enough to see myself killing them.  I have experienced depression so deep I tried to commit suicide believing it was the only way to stop the pain.  I have loved so passionately that I couldn’t tell where I ended and they began.

Where I have gotten stuck, however, is feeling something I felt I shouldn’t.  Believe me , the feeling of  hate was justified.  But to love someone who doesn’t love you back, who has hurt you in unimaginable ways, is just plain stupid, right?

So you keep telling yourself a story.  The story is better than feeling your truth:  I’m still in love with an asshole.

Just writing that makes me laugh out loud.  My coach, Jenny, once asked me, “Where does the love go?” (in this case we were discussing a relationship break-up).  I have always wondered that.  And now, I believe that it remains.  And because you don’t want to feel it and accept it, you tell the story of how they are this, that and the other thing and how they don’t deserve you and so on and so on.  Instead of just admitting that “yes, they treated me like shit and for some reason, I still love them.”

That’s way too hard and what kind of idiot are you for loving someone who is a complete ass?

An honest one.  A human one.  A perfect one.

After 1 week into Debbie Ford’s 21-day consciousness cleanse (check out, I was facing day 8, the gift of liberation, when I got stuck.  Leaving my past behind brought up all sorts of stories, but thankfully, rather than investing in them further, I dug in and committed to letting them all go.  No matter what.

I was overjoyed when I woke up from my nap with these words floating around from my Spirit.

“You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel what you feel.  Yes, you still love him.  You just do.  Enough said.”

I started laughing out loud.  In four short sentences, I experienced the powers of liberation, responsibility and acceptance.

Years of crap lifted from my consciousness.  It was nothing short of miraculous.


  • You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel what you feel.
  • Whatever you are feeling is just fine.  There is nothing wrong with you for having ANY emotional response.
  • Own what you feel.  Just be in it.
  • And when you do, you’ll find it no longer has a hold on you.

Enough said. 🙂

Your coaching inquiry should you accept it:

What feelings are you ashamed of having that you’d rather tell a story than shed light on them?  What could shift if you would allow yourself to feel what you feel with someone’s (including your own) approval?  What would become available to you if you stopped making yourself wrong for whatever?

Here’s to you dropping your stories!

Love & magic,

The Resident Diva

Sep '09

‘Nuf Said

Enjoyed the 2 part Whitney Houston interview on Oprah.  All I can say is, “Sistah..I know exactly what you mean.”

I Didn’t Know My Own Strength – Whitney Houston