Yes, I know.  Worser is not a word.

An evangelist I watch on Tuesday nights, used the word over and over in his sermon.  My daughter and I watch the show to see what flamboyant outfits he and his wife will be wearing.

They rarely disappoint.

This morning while I was thinking about something that my blogger pal,  Tex in the City, had written, Willie C’s question came to me.

What’s worser, Lisa?

When we live our lives worried about what others think, our fear is usually that we won’t be liked or accepted.

The aha moment:  If you are worried about *them* liking you, it most likely means that YOU  don’t like you.

Well, damn.

I guess tuning into “the prophet of God” did have some payoff.

Seriously, at the end of the journey, wouldn’t it be great to say “I lived a life I loved and I LOVED ME!” ?

I can’t imagine anything *worser* than checking out with self-hatred still on my lips.

It’s time to give up the bullshit, people.  I am not saying this is an easy process.  Fundamentally, we all want to “fit in”.  It’s how the tribe survived back in caveman days.

But we aren’t there anymore.  There are plenty (and I do mean, plenty) of people who will love you when you are true to yourself.  I have been convinced for years that the best gift you can give to anyone is the gift of YOU.

The real you.

ALL of you.

Good, bad, fat, ugly, skinny, broke, divorced, hormonal, angry, or whatever label you used to hid behind.

Accept that you are ALL of those things and so much more.

And start behaving like you are so much more.

‘Cause you are.

And you know it.

And *they* do too.

Besides( to quote Marianne Williamson), “Your playing small does not serve the world.”

And you deserve so much more.  You are indeed worthy of your own love.

So, what’s worser?

Knowing that you could unlock the door anytime yet still choose prison.

I invite you to make today, this moment, the moment you decide to become your biggest fan.  Today becomes the day you stop worrying about what *they* think and commit to honoring what you think and feel.

You can decide to continue to live in the prison of your limiting beliefs or commit to the freedom of loving who you are.

You have the key.

Lovin’ you,

Lisa

I’m in a really pissy mood today.  I’ve tried all day to shake it off because I was so angry I wanted to spit.  Finally, I just went back to bed.

Even that didn’t help.

For the past several hours, I’ve been listening to music.  A little Indie Arie always cheers me up.

It did.  Sort of.

Truth is,  I’m still pissed.

Why are people so mean?

Why do people do nice things for you and keep score?

Why do some people never take real risks? (I mean the kind where failure means no one is there to bail you out?)

Why do people judge others that do?

Why are some people  so damned content to play small?

After the music failed to lift me up sufficiently, I went trolling for an inspirational quote.  I came across the Liv’n Out Loud! Clothing company’s website and this diddy (along with Mariah Carey’s song “Hero” playing in the background as I write this) just did the trick.

This is why I took the risks that I did.

This is why it was worth losing almost everything.

This is why it is worth beginning again (and again and again, if I have to)

I made the decision to become my own hero.

Someone remind me of that the next time I get in a pissy mood about…well..anything.

Live a gutsy, self-aware life.
Ignite the spark in your soul and lay down the
tracks to the songs in your heart.
Define your reason for being;
go deep, soak up your essence,
then honor your authentic self.
Break the chains that bind you.
Free yourself from your self-imposed restrictions
and be courageous towards all that you dread.
Don’t let the fear of judgment quell your spirit.
Proudly flaunt your humanity,
with all its exquisite imperfections.
Experience the edge of life.
Make mistakes. Color outside the lines.
Go to the brim of what is familiar and jump off.
After all, a vibrant life is filled with stops,
starts and stumbles.
Participate in your dreams and have faith.
You are standing on the edge of bliss.
Do it. Do that next big thing.
Become your own hero. ©

© 2005 – 2010. Liv’n Out Loud! Clothing Company, Inc.

You gotta love it when you get a reminder that you’re unconscious.  In the last 24 hours, I got TWO.

After ranting about being in the moment, I found myself yesterday doing exactly what I wrote about in  “Using the Damn Brain God Gave You”.  No, I wasn’t on the cell phone and driving, but I was just as distracted.

I was on the phone with a friend that I hadn’t spoken to in several months.  We were looking at a website and trying to come up with a solution to a problem I was having with a client.  After we finished perusing, I *should* have turned my attention to our conversation.  But nooooooooooooooo.  I went back to my email.  And *ding* there was a comment on my blog.

Did I wait to read it?

Silly.  Of course not.

While I was still talking to my friend, I’m reading the comment.

Guess who wasn’t in the moment??

BUSTED.

Today, I was talking to my buddy, Coach Iyabo, when I start going on and on about this mastermind group I’m in.  Just like the brilliant coach she is, she asks, “Do you want to be in this group?”

(crickets)

Dang.

Guess who wasn’t “ownin’ her shit?”

BUSTED.

But the beauty of not always being who you say you want to be is that you get to choose again.

Gone is the need to pick up the proverbial club and beat myself.

And that my friends is GROWTH.

As long as we are breathing, we have the chance to choose to be all that we are.

Beautifully human and Perfectly Divine….

All at the same time.

Cool, isn’t it?

You bet’cha.

Rock on!

Lisa

Tonight while flipping channels, I made the decision to listen to the ABC Nightly News. I do my best to avoid what passes for news these days. At it’s “best”, it’s simply another medium to program your thinking. It doesn’t let you decide what to think, it tells you. Call me a Cronkite-era baby, but hey, at least he considered me intelligent enough to make my own decisions.

At it’s worst, it’s an over-glorified gossip column. What was the 2nd story of the day: The Tiger Woods car accident saga. Are you kidding me? What part of that story is actually relevant to my life or even news worthy?

I only continued to watch because I was hoping to hear something about the economic drama in Dubai but was also “hooked” in by a story about one of my favorite authors, Dr. Wayne Dyer.

While I didn’t get the goods on what’s up in Dubai, I did get clear on the fact that the so-called journalist believed that what Dr. Dyer teaches (along with others like him) is just a bunch of crap and that he’s gotten rich off of it.

But I stayed with it.

You see, Dr. Dyer has been diagnosed with cancer. What became clear (to me) was that the “journalist” wanted to point out the flaw in Dr. Dyer’s teaching that thinking positively can attract wonderful things into your life. Obviously, if Dr. Dyer has developed cancer, one must conclude by his teachings, that his thoughts created it.

And why would any one create cancer?

Why indeed.

I read Dr. Dyer’s first book when I was 9 years old. I thought “Your Erroneous Zones” was a “dirty” book and I was going to sneak and read it and be a “naughty” girl. The book wasn’t anything of the kind and it started me on path of thinking beyond what I’d been taught. I would veer off course severely, but life would bring me back to his simple teachings. I don’t own every book he’s written, but I do have dreams that he will write the foreword of my book. He’s been a great inspiration.

So, tonight as I listened (quite superficially) to the reporter’s questions of Dr. Dyer, I began to think about the quote from Shakespeare’s Hamlet:

…for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

[William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2]

You see, the reporter’s point was that Dr. Dyer must be a fraud because he has attracted something “bad.”

But who says cancer is bad?

Every cancer survivor I have ever met tells me that their cancer was “the best thing that ever happened” to them.  Huh?  I always walk away from those conversations dazed and confused because I have seen the destruction cancer causes to a person and the pain those around them endure watching their loved one suffer.

Cancer is UGLY.   Of course, it’s BAD, Lisa.

I began to think about most people’s perception that attracting a million dollars into their lives would be a “good” thing.  But what if after getting that million dollars, your entire family was murdered because someone else wanted you to give up that money?  Would you see that windfall now as a “good” thing?

Let’s consider Dr. Dyer’s diagnosis.   What if from this cancer, he develops a closer relationship with his kids and grandkids?  What if he is gifted with a vision that outlines a cure for AIDS?  We have no idea what will come from this, so we are not really in a position to call it “good” or “bad.”   I believe Dr. Dyer will see the experience as a gift from Source and think and act accordingly.  This will keep him in the flow and totally aligned with Source.  I would guess that if you can manage that connection, it doesn’t matter what’s going on “out there”.  You can find total peace and harmony with what “is”, no matter what “it” is.

That’s flow.

And that’s the experience we came for.  That’s what this game is all about.

So to the critics of your thoughts create reality, I say you just don’t get it…yet.  We don’t attract circumstances, per se with our thoughts.  We attract experiences. If love is what we want to experience, sometimes the circumstances we get is heartbreak.  As f’d up as that might seem, when you learn to love deeply, unconditionally, you don’t question “how” you got there and what you “went through” to experience it.  You savor and appreciate the feeling, which is what you really wanted to attract all along.

I believe that “positive” thinking will allow your experiences to be less painful, but it will not necessarily stop the painful ones from showing up.  Those experiences allow us to re-focus and reconnect with who we say we want to be.  They strengthen our resolve to BE that person.

I Get it Now.

Thank you, Dr. Dyer, for once again helping to know something through my own experience.  Because of this story and your diagnosis, I finally understand that quote from Hamlet.  I finally “get” that I can choose how I think about any event in my life without judging it as good or bad, right or wrong.   What a huge gift to finally understand and live, “go with the flow.”

Best of all,  I can finally write the last chapter of my book, not surprisingly titled, “I Get it Now.”

How perfect.

Be well.  Stay in flow.

Last week I was mowing the lawn and came upon dog shit in the yard.

I wish I could say that I was “spiritual” about it.  It PISSES ME OFF that people will take their dogs on a walk and allow them to shit in other people’s yards and just  leave it behind.  Hello!!!???

(Gee, if I wanted to clean up dog shit, I’d have my OWN dog.)

Now, in the not too distant past, I would have kicked the crap onto the sidewalk for those dog walkers.  Other times, I have kicked it into the street to irritate the neighbors who apparently don’t seem to have a problem with their irresponsible neighbors.

That day, however, I stopped.  Yes, I was angry.  But I wanted to take a different approach. 

What could I learn from this?

It came to me that it’s a metaphor for how many of us live our lives.  You see, we don’t own our own shit.

• We blame our parents for not doing enough.
• We blame politicians for their corruption and greed.
• We blame our boss for being a jerk.

And the list goes on and on.

You see, the people hurt by the Madoff mess don’t want to own up to their part in the mess.  Oh no..he was “evil.”

Many Americans believe that all Muslims are terrorists and that they hate our “freedom.”  Forget that fact that we have a history of terrorism in the name of our God (aka THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR.)

Many are quick to call themselves Christians with “good family values”.  Yet many of those same Christians supported a regime who saw nothing wrong with lying, torture and killing. 

I get it. 

Most of us want to believe that we are “better” than something.  That we are not “evil and sinister” as Hitler, Saddam or Osama bin Laden.  That we are above the hypocrisy of a Mark Sanders or Ted Haggard.  That we could “never” commit murder or steal food from a hungry child.

But here’s the rub:  What you see in others,  EXISTS in YOU.

You can’t call someone evil if you don’t know evil yourself.

You can’t hate something in another person unless you, yourself, have knowledge of that trait.

Yes, my friend, you are just as evil, petty, disgusting, small-minded, etc. as “they” are.

Once you really understand this, your life will change.  

Are you ready to OWN YOUR SHIT?

I know, the thought (as well as this post) is pretty disgusting.  You are screaming at me, “I am NOT like them, Lisa.”

Been there. Said that.

Once you begin to understand that what you dislike in others is something about YOU that you want to disown, your perspective changes.   Once you begin to undersand that we are ALL connected, you ask different questions and you get different answers.   

And then the magic happens.

Because with that, you’ll begin to have more compassion for others.  You can look at something and say, “I am THAT. I am.”  When you see someone doing something that “triggers” you in some way, instead of calling them names, you see the opportunity for you to look inside.  ANYTHING that triggers you is an opportunity to heal.  Victimhood becomes a thing of the past and you can truly begin to love yourself..COMPLETELY.

And that my friends, is the greatest gift you can give yourself AND the rest of the world.

You ARE worthy of love.  ALL of you.

And so is everyone else.

Want to make a difference in the world?

OWN YOUR SHIT.