Yes, I know.  Worser is not a word.

An evangelist I watch on Tuesday nights, used the word over and over in his sermon.  My daughter and I watch the show to see what flamboyant outfits he and his wife will be wearing.

They rarely disappoint.

This morning while I was thinking about something that my blogger pal,  Tex in the City, had written, Willie C’s question came to me.

What’s worser, Lisa?

When we live our lives worried about what others think, our fear is usually that we won’t be liked or accepted.

The aha moment:  If you are worried about *them* liking you, it most likely means that YOU  don’t like you.

Well, damn.

I guess tuning into “the prophet of God” did have some payoff.

Seriously, at the end of the journey, wouldn’t it be great to say “I lived a life I loved and I LOVED ME!” ?

I can’t imagine anything *worser* than checking out with self-hatred still on my lips.

It’s time to give up the bullshit, people.  I am not saying this is an easy process.  Fundamentally, we all want to “fit in”.  It’s how the tribe survived back in caveman days.

But we aren’t there anymore.  There are plenty (and I do mean, plenty) of people who will love you when you are true to yourself.  I have been convinced for years that the best gift you can give to anyone is the gift of YOU.

The real you.

ALL of you.

Good, bad, fat, ugly, skinny, broke, divorced, hormonal, angry, or whatever label you used to hid behind.

Accept that you are ALL of those things and so much more.

And start behaving like you are so much more.

‘Cause you are.

And you know it.

And *they* do too.

Besides( to quote Marianne Williamson), “Your playing small does not serve the world.”

And you deserve so much more.  You are indeed worthy of your own love.

So, what’s worser?

Knowing that you could unlock the door anytime yet still choose prison.

I invite you to make today, this moment, the moment you decide to become your biggest fan.  Today becomes the day you stop worrying about what *they* think and commit to honoring what you think and feel.

You can decide to continue to live in the prison of your limiting beliefs or commit to the freedom of loving who you are.

You have the key.

Lovin’ you,

Lisa

You gotta love it when you get a reminder that you’re unconscious.  In the last 24 hours, I got TWO.

After ranting about being in the moment, I found myself yesterday doing exactly what I wrote about in  “Using the Damn Brain God Gave You”.  No, I wasn’t on the cell phone and driving, but I was just as distracted.

I was on the phone with a friend that I hadn’t spoken to in several months.  We were looking at a website and trying to come up with a solution to a problem I was having with a client.  After we finished perusing, I *should* have turned my attention to our conversation.  But nooooooooooooooo.  I went back to my email.  And *ding* there was a comment on my blog.

Did I wait to read it?

Silly.  Of course not.

While I was still talking to my friend, I’m reading the comment.

Guess who wasn’t in the moment??

BUSTED.

Today, I was talking to my buddy, Coach Iyabo, when I start going on and on about this mastermind group I’m in.  Just like the brilliant coach she is, she asks, “Do you want to be in this group?”

(crickets)

Dang.

Guess who wasn’t “ownin’ her shit?”

BUSTED.

But the beauty of not always being who you say you want to be is that you get to choose again.

Gone is the need to pick up the proverbial club and beat myself.

And that my friends is GROWTH.

As long as we are breathing, we have the chance to choose to be all that we are.

Beautifully human and Perfectly Divine….

All at the same time.

Cool, isn’t it?

You bet’cha.

Rock on!

Lisa

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.”  -Alan Keightley

Thanks, Oprah.

While my girl has brought some real value into my life, I really didn’t need her billionaire-ass to tell me that texting and driving was REALLY, REALLY STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C’mon, folks.  When are we going to stop giving someone else our power to think for ourselves?

Ten years ago my mother was lying in hospital room.  She had been sick for over 6 months with an infection that they could not pinpoint.  As a former pre-med major and the only one in the family with the balls to challenge the doctor, it was often up to me to get the real scoop.

I’ll never forget the day that I DEMANDED the ICU nurse to get mom’s doctor to call me ASAP.  I was 6 hours away and was tired of the run around.

Unfortunately for me, I had waited for hours to use the restroom and dashed off, cell phone in hand, to relieve my bladder.

(ring…ring)

Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?  I am trying to pee!

Of course, it was the doctor.  I had to take it.

He confirmed what I already knew.  Mom was dying.  And there wasn’t anything they could do to stop it.  They had no idea what they were fighting and it was going to win.

I don’t tell you that story to make you sad.   Certainly, there are times when you just have to take a call when you’re in the middle of something else.

My guess is that’s about 1% of the time.  And that’s a stretch.

Why on earth do you have to answer your phone at the table in a restaurant?

If you answer the phone with “Hey gurl.  Nuttin’.  Just standin’ in line at Kroger,” trust me, it’s not a conversation that can’t wait until you get your sorry ass home.

And that text message?  Are you kidding me?  If you ain’t thwarting the next terrorist attack or performing virtual heart surgery, your answer can wait until you have stopped your moving vehicle.

Where the hell were you when your driver’s ed teacher explained to you that you were operating a 2-ton piece of equipment that  COULD KILL?

When did technology become an excuse for not using your own common sense?

I think people crave connection and intimacy so desperately, they are willing to create the illusion of connection.

“Look at me.  I”m so important that someone wants to talk to me..right NOW.”

“And I think so little of you and myself that I’ll pretend that you’re important by having this half-ass conversation and do 1000 other things while I’m talking to you.”

Here’s a news flash:  Real connection comes from being in the MOMENT.

You didn’t need me to tell you that.

And you certainly didn’t need Oprah to go to all that trouble to create a “No texting while driving” pledge.

NOTHING is more important than NOW.  Be in it.  Love it.  Thank God for it.

I promise you that you’ll get more done, be less stressed and your relationships will vastly improve.

The world needs YOU.  ALL of you.

Put the phone down and be here NOW.

And for goodness sake, use the damn brain God gave you.

Lovin’ you,

Lisa

I let go of a few connections on Facebook today.  It was time.

While I love the opportunity to connect with old and new friends alike, there were a few connections that just didn’t feel good.  I reluctantly accepted some connections as a sign that I had “grown” and decided to continue a few because I didn’t want to “appear” bitter.

Whatever.

As I was doing my morning pages (a writing ritual in which I dump the junk so I can actually think), I became very angry about some of these connections.  But instead of being all “adult”, I just sat with it.  I pissed, moaned, cursed, shouted (all on paper) and allowed my feelings the space they had so desperately needed.

When the violent vomit session was over, I felt better.  I was surprised that I still held such crap, but now it was gone.  And then it became clear to me to CUT THEM LOOSE.

NOT because I was still angry.

NOT because I was being vindictive or childish.

NOT because suddenly I was “over” it.

It was because I could clearly see that the connections did not serve me in this new place.

When I thought of those people, I could smile.  Even be grateful for their place in my life.

And I could see that my energetic ties to them no longer felt good.  They didn’t inspire me.  They didn’t lift me up.   They simply no longer resonated with the person that I AM..today.

So, I cut them loose.  With love in my heart and gratitude on my lips.

It’s clear that if you know me or read this blog, I have a hard time letting go.   (you think?)  I understand now that letting go doesn’t have to be done with anger, bitterness, or even a reason.  You KNOW when something no longer serves you. (don’t you?)

Letting go doesn’t make you a bad person.

Just because you’ve invested time, money, love and energy into something doesn’t mean it has to last forever.  Change is the only constant, people.  EVERY moment is different than the last.  YOU are different person today than you were yesterday.

Hopefully, you’ve grown.  And sometimes that means that you’ve “outgrown” certain people, places and things.

What in your life no longer inspires you?

What do you still keep around that is taking your energy and not providing any return on that investment? (No,  not in a “what have you done for me lately?” way, but in a “you make me feel like dancin’” sort of way)

I invite you to love yourself enough today to CUT IT LOOSE.  (And yes, I realize that may include me.)

You inspire me!

Lisa