Oct '10

All I have

I wrote this post during my “blogcation”.  I have read it dozens of times.  Even shared it with my bff’s , Lori and Susan, for feedback.  Yet I couldn’t bring myself to hit “publish”.  As I read it (again) I figured out why.  One: I am heart-broken that I will probably never get the chance to say, “I’m sorry” face-to-face to the person who inspired this post.  Two: I am ashamed that I dismissed and hurt someone so deeply because I couldn’t accept what they were offering with a grateful heart.  And three: It’s embarrassing to admit that trusting myself is still hard when I’m in pain.  (Yet it’s when I need to do it the most.)

But I post it now because I want you to see the perfection in EVERYTHING in your life.   Greet it all with an open heart. xoxoxo, Lisa

Whatever we are waiting for – peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance – it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart. Sarah Ban Breathnach

Several weeks ago just after I wrote “I Wish You Were Dead,” I had an epiphany.

I knew it was coming. Writing that post was very painful and the Universe was desperately trying to get me to take on a new perspective about an old situation. I just wasn’t going there willingly.

I was (still) angry.

I was (still) hurting.

And I wanted the resolution I wanted.

Not the one being offered.

Let’s try this again

As my spiritual journey has unfolded, I’ve become more aware of the patterns in my life.  The blame and victim-hood cycle.  The wallowing.  The inability to let go, especially when I was invested in something or someone.  When I was ALL in.

Eventually the “a-ha” moment comes.  The “I get it now” declaration that comes when all of the pain actually makes sense.

I still experience all  of those stages.   Sometimes I move through them very quickly.  But with some situations in my life, I am deeply immersed.  The lesson has yet to be presented.

No, scratch that.

I have not yet opened myself enough to see the lesson.

Whether I am unable or unwilling to see the lesson right away doesn’t much matter.   For me, it’s crucial that I at least believe there is a lesson available as this creates the space for it to present itself.

And that’s what that post gave me.  Space.  (The Uni is so smart.)

Perspective, Perspective, Perspective

Back to the epiphany. :)

So there I was in the middle of morning pages one day and found myself writing “I didn’t get what I wanted from you. And just like magic, these words followed:

I gave you all I had.


Now for years, I have been fond of saying, “People do the best they can with what they have.”

Brilliant, huh?

(Except when some dumbass says it back to you and you think their “best” sucks air.)

Now, I know that the statement is true, but the good ol’ Universe knew that I wasn’t getting it.

So, when I was ready, I heard it differently.

Just because someone didn’t give you what you wanted doesn’t mean they didn’t give you all they had.

Stop for a moment and really take that in.

They gave you all they had.

No one short-changed you.

No one cheated you.

They really gave you their all.


And then this gem.

What if, you could actually be grateful for the all they did give you instead of focusing on what you felt you didn’t get?

Now, can you see how it changes things…even just a little bit?

Can you see that in any given situation people give all they are capable of…in that moment.  If they had more, they would give it.  If you had more (time, energy, money, patience, attention, etc) you’d give it.

You give all you can in any given moment.

Suddenly I understood that enough becomes a matter of perspective.

I could see that enough is all there is.

He did enough.

This is enough.

I am enough.


Believing in enough-ness is still very new to me.

We are so driven in Western society towards Bigger. Better. More.

Everywhere we look, we are “told” we are falling behind, that we are less than as we are until we buy that house, acquire the latest gadget or get that next promotion, or reach 10,000 subscribers on your blog.

So of course, it becomes easy to see the people who fall short of our expectations as less than as well.  If he just did (fill in the blank) he’d finally “measure up.”

It’s a never ending chase.

But you can’t chase enough-ness.

You can’t acquire it.

You can’t demand it.

It just is.

And it’s your job to expand into it.

To move past the illusion and see a new truth.

To open your heart and mind to it.

There is enough air.

There is enough love.

There is enough of everything you need.

Right here.

Right now.

No matter what is happening, it is enough.  As it is.

I Get it Now

As I wrap up this post, not having any idea where it was going, I realize this is what contentment is.

Allowing yourself to expand into the truth of enough-ness, you become content.  At ease. Peaceful.

It doesn’t mean you don’t desire more.

More is just no longer centered on “acquisition.”

It’s about awareness.

Becoming more and more aware that nothing and no one needs to be “fixed” and seeing the perfection of what “is”.

That all I am today…is enough.

All I did today…was enough.

And tomorrow.

And the next day.

And forever more.

I promise that I will always give you all I have.

And I know that you are doing the same for me.

Thank you.

I love you.

And #thatisall.


25 Responses to “All I have”

  1. Megan Says:

    I love this. Wait. That's not all. :) I'm sharing your journey! Me too! I'm making (working my ass off) to change my perspective, to appreciate what is here now, to love all they way it IS. Monday morning woohooo Lisa, and xoxo
    My recent post Gold Lion diplo remix

  2. @Sally_G Says:

    Good morning Lisa! You've shared so much wisdom in this post – I do envision a day when more people interact with 'assumptions of the best' in each other vs 'assumptions of the worst'. It truly makes such a difference.

    We are wired to give the best we have at any given time ~ and that 'best' will look different on any given day, because we're not always fully engaged, or connected, or energized to lift up over ourselves and actually see the other person through our often misinterpreted perception. I know how it feels to be given the benefit of the doubt, to have someone speak to my higher self even though she's not rendering herself visible at the time, and I do my utmost to gift that to others whenever I can.

    I thought of this song while reading your post. I dedicate to you – and to us all. May the wonder within be rendered visible more and more often! Blessings …[youtube ulI8xWuV8ic youtube]
    My recent post Winds of change …

  3. LisaMilesBrady Says:

    It does feel like work, doesn't it? Sometimes I want to run back into blame and victimhood, 'cause, hey, that's what "everyone else" is doing, right? lol But if I can just find a teeny weeny ounce of courage to stand and face what "is", I am opened up to so much more.

    Can't tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life, cheering me on, lighting the way, and just making the whole damn thing a lot more fun. :)


  4. LisaMilesBrady Says:

    Good morning, Sally!

    Wow. This really hit me: "We are wired to give the best we have at any given time"

    I cried for all the times I did not see it in the people I love. I know better now, but I am sad that I hurt so many people by not living that way sooner.

    I am so humbled by your music dedication, Sally. For seeing the wonder of me when I publicly admit how awful I can be. Thank you. I am so grateful for your calming, wise presence in my life.

  5. Lisa Miles Brady Says:

    All I have – On Lisa-Unmasked:

  6. Megan Matthieson Says:

    Enoughness. RT @LisaMilesBrady: All I have – On Lisa-Unmasked:

  7. Lori Paquette Says:

    RT @LisaMilesBrady: All I have – On Lisa-Unmasked:

  8. @lipdesign Says:

    Here's to enoughness … I'm so happy to read this again! Love you.

  9. FrankDickinson Says:

    Well shit.

    I'm glad you did post this – but I don't know exactly why yet.

    It is speaking to me, but I'm not exactly sure what it is trying to say.


    Yeah I said it.

    I'll let you know what I come up with.

    Thank you Lisa.
    My recent post 2 Parts You’re Missing in Building Your Community

  10. LisaMilesBrady Says:

    "it is speaking to me…"

    Isn't that why we write, my friend?

    I'm glad it hit ya'. I'm glad you told me. :)

    Even though I wrote it awhile back, it is still percolating in my head. Am I getting it? Really. getting. it. Really. living. it? I don't know yet. Depends on the moment.

    But it sure has made it easier to "forgive" myself.

    Can't wait to hear more about what comes up for you.

    And you can curse on my blog any ol' time. :)

  11. Lisa Miles Brady Says:

    Is "All I have" enough?

  12. Tex In The City Says:

    Great post, but I am so not there, yet. For all of my growth if Dr. Phil were to ever ask me, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" My reply so far has been, "Being right, makes me happy!" :Boo ya: :high five:

    Yeah, I have a ways to go.
    My recent post Happy Birthday To ME!

  13. Frank Dickinson Says:

    Sometimes she just makes me wanna scream -> All I have (via @LisaMilesBrady)

  14. LisaMilesBrady Says:

    "Being right makes me happy!"

    LMAO. Wish I had that comeback when my coach used to challenge me with the question. :)

    It is a journey, most definitely. I would have thought you were an idiot had you come at me with this "enough-ness" just a few years ago. But you are so brave to have done the work to at least see another "possibility." Doesn't mean it's right, but you're open to something else and that is HUGE.

    You've been kicking ass and taking names this past year. Keep honoring *your* journey. Dr Phil should be so lucky to even be in your presence much less ask you a question. I think you'll be doing the interviews soon.

    Love ya', Tex!

  15. Thanh Ngoc Tran Says:

    RT @LisaMilesBrady: Is "All I have" enough?

  16. Susan T. Blake Says:

    RT @LisaMilesBrady: All I have <- Enoughness. Beautiful.

  17. Alisha Says:

    I really struggle with contentment. I am really trying, every day, to appreciate life and its challenges as they are. To love and accept the people in my life just as they are. That they do not intend to hurt me or stress me out. They are indeed just trying their best. And all I can do is be my best self in these moments. Thanks for the reminder.
    My recent post Why I Write

  18. Charlotte Says:

    This post really spoke to me and I'm glad that I stumbled upon it today… it's not easy to find peace with the enough-ness. But when we achieve that and realize that we do give just enough and that we shouldn't feel short-changed by others because their definition of enough might conflict with ours… well, it's just an entirely different way of approaching life. I like this new perspective. It allows more light in. Thanks, Lisa :)
    My recent post the post i hope my parents never read

  19. Ametia Says:

    Priceless post, Lisa. thank you. I am discovering the wonder of LISTENING with an open heart. Just listening to another Soul. And what I am discovering is that all most folks really need or want is to be listened to , to be truly HEARD.

    Keep dropping your wisdom. We need it! Thanks

  20. Shelly Says:

    Oh my Lisa… Amazing. That hit me in places I can't even describe. I totally get it and I will totally need time to process all of whatever-the-hell-it-is.

    Love you. xoxo :)
    My recent post My Guardian Angel

  21. LisaMilesBrady Says:

    Thank you, Shelly. I'm glad it resonated.

    The post made Frank want to scream :), so I would love to hear about how you process "whatever-the-hell-it-is." :)

  22. LisaMilesBrady Says:

    Gurl, you get the keys to the kingdom!

    I truly, truly, truly believe that world peace would happen if we really took the time to look another person in the eye (and heart) and hear what they have to say.

    Love having 3Chics wisdom dropped here too. :)

  23. LisaMilesBrady Says:

    SG2, I have a feeling you & Tex ARE related!

    You are so right about pain being an SOB. I've decided that I know longer wish to get my wisdom from my wounds. The Universe and I are still working out the specifics on that particular agreement, but once the contract's in place, I let you know. :)

  24. LisaMilesBrady Says:

    I just read this yesterday, Alisha. Hope it helps.

    "Hold onto nothing. Participate in everything." ~ Patricia Lynn Reilly

    You ever notice how your kids can go joyfully from one activity to the next? I think that might be the key.:)

  25. LisaMilesBrady Says:

    So glad you "found" the post, Charlotte. Delighted to have you stop by and share.

    I find myself asking now, "how can I give more?" especially in situations where I just don't feel like I have really shown up. Doing this seem to open me to seeing or perceiving something I hadn't noticed before and it's like you said, "it allows more light." I am definitely becoming more patient, that's for sure. :)